User Profile

Oh. Hello, all. I am Stuart Griffin. Call me Stewie. I'll be filling out all the bio information, since my compatriot is too drunk on cheap rum to be much help. A little about my background, I'm a one-year old determined to take over the world. Ever since I escaped the horror of the womb, my chief goal has been to kill my dreadful maternal parent, Lois.



As a result of this, I've been isolated in a tiny shack (I, myself, am unsure as to the exact location of this shack, and my only companionship doesn't do anything other than drink and talk about some bird he fancies named Will Turner). My ability to throw sexy parties has been seriously impacted by this internment.

The roommate I've mentioned several times is a pirate named Captain Jack Sparrow, although I refuse to refer to him as "Captain". He's a drunkard with fabulous cheekbones, and has so far proved perfectly useless to help the escape. Our captors must have anticipated his one weakness; the shack is thoroughly stocked with rum.


That's the most flattering picture I can find of him...

At the moment, he's trying to smudge his eyeliner for that sexy "smoky" effect (Honestly, where on earth did this man learn how to apply makeup? That heavy look is so last season).